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Am I jealous that my best friend has a BOYfriend? Does that mean I'm tragic??? Is my current hair colour (melody deep plum) better than that dodgy custard colour I tried last week?
Perhaps I should go out with Gareth Stingecombe - even though I don't fancy him the least tiniest but.
If I DON'T fancy Gareth Stingecombe the least tiniest but, why am I obsessing about his MANLY thighs?
This is a book about all the important questions in life. It's definitely not about sitting in my wardrobe or having a mental disturbance of any kind...